Well, it turns out omicron is a cold. Scotland, Mexico and El Salvador lifting C-19 restrictions is just the beginning. The Pandemic is wrapping up nicely. (Read more in my latest substack here.) After a year of fighting vaccine mandates and vaccine passports (see my previous post on this blog), I am thrilled and relieved that someone finally organized a march here in DC from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial to Defeat the unconstitutional Mandates. It’s happening this Sunday, January 23, 2022. Per the website, meet at the Washington Monument by 10:30 a.m. Walking begins at 11:30 a.m. There is a mandate in place here in DC to show your vaxx card in order to enter restaurants, forcing restaurant owners and their employees to act as an enforcement arm of the state. It took effect January 15, 2022. Buuuuut there’s no mandate across the river in Arlington…
Jack Dorsey resigned from his position as CEO of twitter on 11/29/21 and posted his resignation email to twitter. (This post is also featured on my new substack, which is how you can subscribe to my mailing list — free, of course)
Let’s analyze it line by line, recalling the 3 elements of communication: what we are saying (the words that are coming out of our mouth or that appear written on the page), what we are really saying, and then the most important element, what’s been left unsaid.
First, the subject line. It’s Fly. The word is never repeated in the body of the email but it is the most important part. It tells us that Dorsey is seeking freedom, that he has felt caged (like a caged bird unable to fly) and that leaving twitter is going to be exactly that, release from the ties that bind his wings and his ability to soar without constraint. This is so important. It is the crux of the entire email and its significance can not be overstated.
The body of the email begins, “Hello team, After almost 16 years of having a role at our company .. from co-founder to CEO to Chair to Exec Chair to Interim-CEO to CEO … I decided that it’s time for me to leave. Why?”
Now Jack Dorsey doesn’t have to explain himself to anyone. He could have called the team together on Zoom or Teams and announced his resignation or even at the office in person, for old time’s sake. But he wants to set the story straight with a written statement of account. He doesn’t want people to say, “well in the announcement, he said …” and then paraphrase to the best of their memory. But what’s most interesting here is that he wants to assert autonomy: “I decided that it’s time…” not the Board, not shareholders, he decided. And no one else.
“There’s a lot of talk about the importance of a company being ‘founder-led.’ Ultimately, I believe that’s severely limiting and a single point of failure. I’ve worked hard to ensure this company can break away from its founding and founders.”
Now, google says a SPOF or single point of failure is any non-redundant part of a system that, if dysfunctional, would cause the entire system to fail. Clicking on the link, we learn that one example of a SPOF is “people that cannot be replaced in case of emergency.” Oh. Ok. Maybe that’s why most companies treat the CEO role as a revolving door — in goes a marginally decent leader, out goes a newly minted millionnaire a few years later. S/he’s just a figurehead. Is that Jack’s point, that becoming too dependent on one person could cause a breakdown of the entire twitter system? (Not asking rhetorically; we’ll come back to it.)
He continues, “There are 3 reasons I believe now is the right time [for the company to break away from it founders].”
“The first is Parag becoming our CEO. The board ran a rigorous process considering all options and unanimously appointed Parag. He’s been my choice for some time given how deeply he understands the company and its needs. Parag has been behind every critical decision that helped turn this company around. He’s curious, probing, rational, creative, demanding, self-aware, and humble. He leads with heart and soul, and is someone I learn from daily. My trust in him as our CEO is bone deep.”
WOW. Bone deep. That is trust. As you may know, I have written many times that there is no such thing as trust, only reduced risk. That’s why banks call your borrowing and repayment history a “credit” report but have their risk team analyze the likelihood (the statistical probability) of you paying them back. That being said, most people don’t think this way and haven’t even considered that element of the nature of “trust.” I suspect that Jack Dorsey is has. As a Sigma male in an Alpha leadership role, he is also likely to know that one of the most powerful ways to influence somone from that dominant leadership position, is to build them up (give compliments) and make them feel that you have invested in them. This can make them feel beholden and indebted. In other words, if Jack says, “Parag, I would trust you with my LIFE (or my company, my baby that I built from the ground up),” then perhaps Parag will feel that he should emulate Jack and be as good a CEO as Jack was. There is often an element of quid pro quo in a glowing annual review, and this is a review of Parag’s entire career at Twitter if there ever was one. Interestingly, calling Parag demanding is not a compliment. This could be Jack’s way of giving “feedback,” pointing out an area of potential future growth. “Exacting” is the complimentary diplomatic way of saying demanding because it means the person has high standards for themselves and others. Demanding means … well, you know the connotation.
“The second [reason Jack is saying now is the time for him to leave] is Bret Taylor agreeing to become our board chair. I asked Bret to join our board when I became CEO, and he’s been excellent in every way. He understands entrepreneurship, taking risks, companies at massive scale, technology, product, and he’s an engineer. All of the things the board and the company deserve right now. Having Bret in this leadership role gives me a lot of confidence in the strength of our board going forward. You have no idea how happy this makes me!”
Ok so he was worried about weak spots, but the weakness he was most worried about was the power dynamic among members of the Board. Bret as the captain at the helm of the ship/board is a huge relief to him. He doesn’t mean happy here in the joy-filled sense. He means relieved. (But why?)
“The third is all of you. We have a lot of ambition and potential on this team. Consider this: Parag started here as an engineer who cared deeply about our work and now he’s our CEO (I also had a similar path … he did it better!)”
I’m curious as to why Jack would say that. Is he referring to how he himself left Twitter in 2008 and then came back in 2015 whereas Parag came, stayed, got promoted, and is now CEO with no lapse in employment at Twitter? Why compare the two paths? While life seems to be a series of decisions we make, upon further reflection, perhaps Life is the one making the majority of the decisions. Do we all have our own life? Or does Life have a bunch of us? Regardless of Jack’s thought process behind this ebullient (excessive!?) praise of his successor, it’s a display of submission whenever we put ourselves down. He probably was intending to sound humble and complimentary, not self-deprecating. Nevertheless, what we accidentally say can be as meaningful as what we end up saying.
He continues: “This alone makes me proud. I know that Parag will be able to channel this energy best because he’s lived it and knows what it takes. All of you have the potential to change the course of this company for the better. I believe this with all my heart!”
In sales, they teach you that you’re really selling belief in the product or service, that what success boils down to is the transfer of this belief. Here, Jack is transfering his belief in his Sigmatic (engimatic + Sigma) way. Love is very powerful (some would say the most powerful force in the universe and I would agree) and with his words, he is transferring belief in Twitter and his love for Twitter as a company to his former employees. BUT there’s something else here. Something concerning. Why does he want the course of the company to change? And for the better? Because something is wrong. He’s broadcasting loud and clear in this message to every single employee (thousands of people, let that sink in for a second! Nay, a minute!!) that steering the course is something they can all still do even once he is gone. And he is hoping and praying they WILL. How do we know this? Because he says he believes this with all his heart. This hurts to read. I know I often joke in an over the top way on youtube on occasion, exclaiming, “It hurts! It cuts like a dagger!!” (melodramatic pantomime of a dagger in my heart). “Twist! And back around!” but in all seriousness, that’s how I feel when I read this paragraph. It just hurts.
Now this is where some background is necessary. What is wrong? What is really going on here?
Something bad happened. Or rather some one. Right before the Pandemic started. In early 2020, an activist investment fund called the Elliot Group (founded and run by Peter Singer: remember that name) bought up a huge share of twitter stock in order to leverage one of their employees onto the board (oh, that’s why Jack was so worried about the strength:weakness ratio of the board) which would in turn give the Elliot Group’s mole — er, I mean, employee — the power to demand/pressure all the other boardmembers to vote in a new (and improved) CEO and vote out Jack Dorsey.
What is an activist investment fund?
An activist investor is a major investor (generally someone at the head of a fund or firm) who buys shares of a company’s stock with the goal of changing its policies or leadership.
Want to know something really interesting about Peter Singer? He poured a shit ton of money into Marco Rubio’s campaign in 2015 in order to derail the populist support garnered by Donald Trump. Want to know something else? Singer sent an email to all employees of the Elliot Group on February 1, 2020 telling them they should plan ahead for a long term cov!d nineteen related quarantine. I mention this merely in passing, not because it bears any relation to the pendulum swing in content moderation policy that took place at Twitter between 2018 and 2020, once Elliot Group, in March of 2020, used its status as one of Twitter’s top 25 investors to install their employe Jesse Cohn on the Board of Trustees.
Once Elliot Group had a literal seat at the decision making table, Twitter employees read the writing on the wall and could see that there was a bounty on Jack’s head and someone was gunning for him. All the media outlets swore up and down that it was because there was no way one man could be the CEO of 2 companies [Twitter and Square] at the same time and not for some other nefarious reason. (And I mention this merely in passing and not because I think the real reason was to use duress to achieve a new content moderation policy that would come in handy to justify eventually booting Trump off Twitter altogether, and to justify censoring any tweet which questioned an official “safe and effective” narrative regarding other matters. And not to go on and on about it, but for fun, let’s compare the 2018 policy, see below, where twitter declared itself literally NOT the arbiter of truth …
… to the new and improved policy 2 years later where certain special tweets got warning labels and became un-retweetable or force-deleted. Example:
But back to pre-lockdown March of 2020. The employees of Twitter love(d) Jack. And they were pissed off that some vulture capitalist dickhole (er, I mean, philanthropist) had it in for their boss. They even started a hashtag, #WeBackJack, to defend their guy.
Take a look at this loyal guy, Empinto, below — he’s ready to physically fight to defend Jack. That is how beloved a leader he was at Twitter. (Seriously, check the hashtag. This is just one example).
And as a brief update to the drama, the Elliot Group plant, Jesse Cohn, stepped down from his position on the Board in June of 2021. Stock value up, and even an edit button available via subscription coming down the pipeline. Mission accomplished.
Which brings us back to November 29, 2021 and Jack’s resignation letter. As he was saying: “Parag is CEO starting today. I’m going to serve on the board through my term (May-ish) to help Parag and Bret with the transition. And after that … I’ll leave the board. Why not stay or become chair? I believe it’s really important to give Parag the space he needs to lead. And back to my previous point, I believe it’s critical a company can stand on its own, free of its founder’s influence or direction.”
Ok so, not quite. Jack, in typical Sigma fashion, wants (desires) autonomy.
Sigmas either want total control over executive decisions or total freedom from being responsible for the effects of other people’s poor judgment and subsequently the even worse decisions made based on that judgment. Contrast this with an Alpha male who demands total control, final approval of decisions made all the way down the ladder, and who chuckles at the idea of freedom (even in theory). Jack isn’t going to take a role with less power of influence, no authority, and watch (in potential horror) as Twitter is fundamentally changed from his original vision or even his 2015 vision from the sidelines.
“I want you all to know that this was my decision and I own it. It was a tough one for me, of course. I love this service and company … and all of you so much. I’m really sad … yet really happy. There aren’t many companies that get to this level. And there aren’t many founders that choose their company over their own ego. I know we’ll prove this was the right move.”
So much to unpack in this one tiny paragraph. “I own it” is a colloquial way of saying we made a mistake. (As in the case of one person accusing another of doing something wrong, and imperiously demanding, “You did it, own it!”) But he doesn’t mean that, nor does he mean, “I take responsibility for it” as in the 90’s HR-speake, “take ownership.” Yet it’s still an interesting reveal. What he literally means is that he possessed the decision — as in possessive pronouns. The decision was HIS and not the Board’s and he’s making such a big deal of reiterating it now because of how much love and loyalty everyone in the company showed him a year and a half earlier using the #WeBackJack hashtag. But he (unconsciously) uses the “I own it” idiom because this resignation on some level is a mistake. Not Jack’s mistake. So whose? Peter Singer and the Elliot Group’s mistake.
Jack says it was a tough decision, “of course.” Of course. The phrase of course is almost always extraneous. (Except when we are using it to say, yes, e.g. Can I bring a friend? Of course!) And usually means we are exaggerating or straight out lying. The other day I was re-reading a text I had sent saying why I couldn’t attend an event I’d been invited to. I didn’t want to disclose the real reason I couldn’t make it so I said (lied) something else was the reason, “of course.” I was kicking myself after the fact going, why did you say of course??! Lol!! By the same token, we can deduce that it was not a tough decision for Jack at all. He was ready and this may even have been a long time coming. Again, Fly is the subject line of the email and the Twitter cage will soon feel very empty indeed for everyone left inside.
Jack also says he’s really sad … yet really happy. You be the judge: does he mean really as in very? Or really as in actually? I think he means he’s very sad but actually happy. He’s sad, again, because he knows his people will miss him terribly and he’ll miss them, but he already told us why he’s happy (in the subject line), and I posit that he’s actually very happy. He’ll soon be free as a bird. (The Sigma feels they have become an extension of what they have created; the Alpha feels what they have created is an extension of them.)
Now why does he say, “I know we’ll prove this was the right move”? We know what it means when someone has something to prove — and it’s not good. In the power dynamic, we are in the inferior position. We might even have been set up to fail, and are fully aware that there is a premeditated strategy being implemented to thwart us which makes us we feel compelled to defeat this dastardly plan and prove the haters wrong.
He then signs off with, “We’ll have an all-hands meeting tomorrow at 9:05 AM Pacific to discuss it all. Until then, thank you for all the trust you’ve placed in me, and for the openness to build that trust in Parag and yourselves. I love you all.
And Jack seriously and sincerely DOES love them all. A lot. Deeply. As in the type of leader who wanted to make the workplace environment a joyful place for each and every employee. And he was beloved in turn. I mean adored. Go to twitter right now and search the hashtag #ThanksJackDorsey. He is going to be deeply missed. Now for the post script.
“PS I’m tweeting this email. My one wish is for Twitter Inc to be the most transparent company in the world. Hi mom!”
Quite the fascinating P.S. Our mother holds the strongest image of our self and vision of our future; indeed she is usually the first person to know we exist (when she discovers she is pregnant with us), and the focus this one human woman will hold for years, day in and day out, this picture in her mind of the very map of our personality strengths and weaknesses, is powerful enough to induce failure or produce success when we are young. Jack loves his mom, yes, but this final reference to her in a work email sends a profound signal indeed. He is anchoring his very decision to leave twitter in their shared vision of his character. If someone said to him, “Why would you leave twitter? It just doesn’t make sense.” Well, now they have the reasons – the 3 very specific ones he just delineated via mass email. If someone mused, “This just seems out of character, it isn’t like you to buckle to external pressures to leave something you love.” Well, it’s exactly his character to put the success of an entity he created and loves above his own desires and no one understands this character strength better than his mom. She may even have been the first person he told of his decision to leave twitter, and she probably said, “You do what makes you happy. I love you no matter what.” We should all be so lucky!
And now, I hope you enjoyed the meat and potatoes because it’s time for dessert.
Not once in the email do we see the phrase “thank you.” That’s amazing. He doesn’t say thank you because (wait for it) he’s not thankful.
There’s not a hint of nostalgia. Not one anecdote from the earlier days. Because he wouldn’t go back if he could. There’s not a drop of nostalgia for 2006 anywhere in his heart or mind.
He mentions the company’s founders plural (because there were 3 originally) — except once, when he says, “its founder” singular. A slip. But he knows Twitter is his creation. It’s HIS. “I own it.” Yes. And it will always be his, like the company Apple will always be the brainchild of Steve Jobs.
He says that his one wish is for Twitter Inc to be the most transparent company in the world. Because it is anything but at the moment.
These are all dots that connect to tell us the larger message. As we know, Dorsey’s real victory in his battle against Peter Singer was achieved once the Elliot Group backed down and their boardmember was replaced back in June of 2021. At that moment, Jack had effectively “won.” Any pressure on the board to replace Jack and any pressure on Jack to resign would then have stopped. So if he doesn’t have to leave, then we can deduce that he’s leaving because he wants to. How do you think someone who believes journalists should act as fact checkers, not social media companies would feel about getting a phone call from the Press Secretary telling him the President wants him to delete a journalist’s account? (Alex Berenson, on 8/29/21.) I think that would cause a terrible internal conflict at a deep level, one that could only be relieved by reverting to the core values that the person was raised as a young person to uphold as sacroscant: freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom to be free.
It appears that Jack Dorsey is ready to leave the nest for complete autonomy and freedom.
I hope someone gets a chance to tell Jack, “you are non-redundant.” After learning about Peter Singer and his remarkable similarity to an evil villain, I hope losing Jack does cause twitter to systemically fail. (Imagine a microblogging platform that makes microblogging words people actually want to read so cumbersome that it eventually becomes not profitable and thus defunct.) When they beg him to come back and save Twitter (again) in 5 years, he can turn around and say, “no, never.” Now, did you catch the dig? The quip about Twitter being the most transparent company, in the world? LOL. That’s a big screw-you to the people who operate in the shadows of secrets and lies all day. The policies of Twitter now are the opposite of transparent. The algorithms are secret. No one knows how they got swept up or why they got banned when someone else didn’t get suspended for engaging in the exact same type of behavior. Finally, the lack of any reference to gratitude is remarkable. He says he’s proud, but “proud of you” is bestowing praise from the superior position in an unequal power dynamic. “Thank you” is giving gratitude, as part of either an equal exchange or giving from the inferior position in an unequal power dynamic. He’s decidedly not thankful for the opportunity to leave his brainchild in the hands of people he hopes will realize they can steer it clear of icebergs.
So, where does that leave our Sigma Protagonist? Well, Jack loves Bitcoin.
Will he become a Bitcoin salesman, so to speak? A Bitcoin missionary? Bitcoin is a unique concept. I’m reasonably curious and able to read and understand new concepts, but I could not (at this point) explain the blockchain or how Bitcoin works without getting confused mid-explanation. He can, he does, and in a very magnetic confident way. If you, dear reader, are interested in learning more, may I recommend these 2 articles below that shed a great deal of light on the subject and made me feel enthusiastic about Bitcoin replacing the dollar as the world’s reserve currency which could end the finance of endless war. (Some of you know that I often refer to world peace as the absence of war, and world joy as the presence of joy. I believe that one could lead to another, as part of my spiritual regimen and Bitcoin seems to have a lot to offer in terms of achieving both goals.)
Check out this one little paragraph from the second piece:
[Bitcoin] stands a good chance to eventually be the next reserve currency. Will we have a world with bitcoin-backed fiat currencies, similar to the gold standard? Or will people actually use native Bitcoin itself — through the Lightning Network and smart contracts — to do all commerce and finance? Neither future is clear.
But the possibility inspires. A world where governments are constrained from undemocratic forever wars because restraint has once again been imposed on them through a neutral global balance-of-payments system is a world worth looking forward to. Kant’s writings inspired democratic peace theory, and they may also inspire a future Bitcoin peace theory.
Under a Bitcoin standard, citizens of democratic countries would more likely choose investing in domestic infrastructure as opposed to military adventurism. Foreigners would no longer be as easily forced to pay for any empire’s wars. There would be consequences even for the most powerful nation if it defaults on its debt.
Originally, I tweeted a thread on April 27, 2021, regarding the events at the Capitol in Washington, DC on January 6, 2021. This is an edited longer version of those thoughts.
Thoughts on our country, Trump and where we/I go from here, from my #SigmaFemale perspective. Disclaimer: I am going to say critical things about President Trump. I still love Trump, will vote for him again in 2024 if he runs. I won’t bury the lede: I’m angry because GOOD patriots (some or none of which I may or may not personally know and care about) are almost certainly going to federal prison for a long time because of the events at the Capitol on January 6, 2021. And a failure of leadership is what allowed (or specifically did not prevent) the day’s events from occurring. My personal moral code compels me to seek and acknowledge both the good and bad qualities in myself and others. I don’t expect perfection in myself or my President. But again, no one — no fucking one —should be going to jail because no one should have engaged in violence on 1/6/21.
I’m no lawyer but I can’t stop going over and over in my mind what possible defense strategies could be implemented for the people who made mistakes by engaging in a violent manner that day. I’m also no war/military expert. I do know that if you choose violence as your method of problem solving, then you arrive with weapons & you fight to the death. Just what in God’s name was anyone thinking? What exactly was the pitiful display we witnessed? Live action role play, LIVE ACTION ROLE PLAY.
I want the defense attorney to call the defendant(s) to the stand and say, “you do realize no one ever stopped any thing of any importance without actual fighting, using actual weapons, and fighting to the actual death, right? Hold on — don’t answer yet. What’s that strange sound, your Honor? Oh YEAH, the sound of the Revolutionary War veterans rolling over in their graves and LAUGHING AT YOU.” Then the lawyer grabs a giant mirror & holds it up to the defendant and asks, “Could you please point to the dumb idiot in the room?” and then the defendant points to his reflection and the lawyer says, “let the record show that the defendant has identified HIMSELF, ladies & gentlemen of the jury.” And in closing arguments, “If my client is guilty of anything, he is guilty of having a low IQ, being suggestible, and ultimately, at the literal end of that fateful day, being too cowardly to actually die for his supposedly patriotic objection to unproven alleged election fraud.”
A sit-in, a nonviolent protest where you arrive fully prepared to be arrested & refuse to leave until your demands have been met, is what could have been performed. Same theater but NO violence. You do it on principle, not because you’re really going to prevent the certification of the election but to prove a point. Violence is only resorted to when you are going to FORCE your will on others. How was there no planning? How did this epic catastrophe of leadership failure occur? To answer this question, here is a brief speech pattern analysis (which could be totally wrong). I hypothesize that Trump believed that patriots were in control and that there was a plan, one that was so top secret, even he could not be read in. Trump is an Alpha Male, highly motivated to avoid shame. This is one of the key personality differences between alphas & sigmas. Alphas feel that being wrong is a source of shame and eschew it (bless me!) Sigmas embrace shame, knowing it is what is, might as well learn from the experience that caused it so we don’t make the same mistake again. (Omegas seek experiences that will reinforce their existing feelings of shame, betas deny & suppress both feelings of shame and guilt).
One of the many ways Alphas avoid shame is through self-discipline. They have mastered the art of not being wrong! Unlike sigmas who shrug off being wrong yet still seek to learn how they miscalculated, alphas avoid making predictive statements in the first place. Their discipline keeps them from opening their mouths if they aren’t totally confident that what they’re about to say is RIGHT. So they avoid making predictive statements. But Trump made several predictive statements that at the time seemed either strange or way overconfident.
The first was, “maybe it’s the calm before the storm.” This came across as both cryptic (likely his intention) but also as just a weird thing to say — something a weirdo would say (definitely not Trump’s intention).
Of course we know now that Operation Storm was a covert operation to distract Trump supporters and indeed Trump himself and ultimately storm him right out of office via election fraud.
If Hillary had tried to lock us down & vaccinate us? We would have been up in actual arms. Civil war. But Trump? Ok, 2 weeks to flatten the curve. Alright.
The second was “You’ll have packed churches all over our country. I think it would be a beautiful time” on Easter Sunday 2020. This is exactly what you’d say if a “military insider” who told you Q was real and there was a “storm” coming then told you that the “invisible enemy” was being vanquished—the virus quarantine is a cover story for shutting everything down so human traffickers can be arrested. Again, the Alpha male is compelled to avoid being wrong, especially publicly. Trump came across as being 100% confident that he had been given accurate information (in fact, in retrospect, Mr President, now you know one of the major players in the conspiracy against you — whoever was telling you Q was real and that an extended lockdown was necessary).
The third predictive statement that we can now know was based on someone actively misleading/deceiving President Trump was “Big protest in DC on January 6th. Be there, will be wild!”
Really? A cluster fuck of epic proportions? “Will be wild” is NOT how Donald J Trump would ever describe a cluster fuck. So why did he describe it that way? Because he’d been told it would be wild and specifically *not* a cluster fuck.
I can imagine the people who are going to trial for being retarded pawns on January 6 also having their defense attorneys calling President Trump himself to the stand. You see, I believe that many loyal supporters of Trump, myself included, interpreted “be there” as a command.
I can tell you as a Sigma, that when your Alpha — YOUR Alpha — gives you a command statement, you better befuckingLIEVE, you’re ready to go. If he says jump, you say, how fucking high, sir?
And I think Trump thought there was not only A Plan but THEE Plan. He didn’t know what it would be either but he trusted that patriots were in control. All we, as Trump voters, had to do, was SHOW UP. Jan 6. Be there or be square.
WRONG. So, it sucks. And we can’t go back. But we can go forward. The audits will happen. The election/voter reform will happen. I don’t believe Trump will get back into the White House without winning the 2024 election. (And brief aside, I sure wish he would go to Gab because they are the only real viable alternative to Twitter.)
That being said, I have felt, as a Sigma, absolutely devastated without a strong alpha leader. As you may know, I have been ready to pack my bags and move to Mexico and become an expat—that is how “done” with corruption & election fraud I have felt.
But many years ago, I learned that in a situation that seems hopeless, the correct action to take is to ask God for a miracle.
And so I ask God for a leader to appear, whether it is Trump or someone else, who can unite our country, who can use love, patriotism and confidence to bring people together, and heal the divide and conquer race-war propaganda. Amen.
I ask God to stop the vaccine insanity and to heal Trump’s heart so he can see the truth and stop promoting the vaccine despite this requiring him to admit that Big Pharma created a vaccine that hurts more than it helps and that statements like, “In a way, I am the father of the vaccine” aren’t just cringe, they are a declaration of ownership of a pharmaceutical fiasco.
And we will also have to ask God to flood all hearts on earth with divine love, replacing all hate with joy. Please God, let there be world peace and world Joy.
Please God, let our country have an Alpha who is a true Patriot become our President who loves our country and puts America First.
Let this person UNITE us, not divide us. Please God, let this person be articulate & sincere, who is as good at taking action as delivering soaring rhetoric.
As for me personally, despite how uncomfortable it felt, in the past few months I forced myself to confront how handicapped Trump is by his own pride.
He is probably not going to ever hold public office again. And, he may even be called to the stand in each and every trial involving truly good patriots who thought they were doing their duty on January 6 by showing up.
Fine. It hurts and I have had to forgive — daily — since this bullshit started and I’m referring to the “explosions of bullshit” (as POTUS so eloquently put it) on election night. But I believe our country is worth fighting for.
I have been so frustrated by people being so dumb that they wear a mask in their car. That they wear a mask while running alone. And it has taken a few months for me to regain my empathy & REMEMBER that they are afraid! They are SCARED! And why?
And that is Trump’s fault. And it made me so so deeply sad when I finally found the guts to acknowledge it.
But now that I have, I can go back to my LOVE for our country. My LOVE for our Bill of Rights. My LOVE for our fellow American—even if they’re low IQ and don’t realize the truth. Because when people don’t realize the truth it’s because they haven’t been told or shown the truth. And that is always a failure OF LEADERSHIP.
One of the most important points I could ever make in sharing information about the tribal roles is that MOST PEOPLE are Betas. The tribe couldn’t survive without the overwhelming majority of people being followers.
The tribe literally would not survive if the majority of people weren’t suggestible. So if the majority are doing something negative, it is ALWAYS the fault of weak leadership.
I am sorry and apologize that as a Sigma, I forgot this. I will do better in the future.
I dug really deep this past weekend and asked myself what it was I wanted to do to leave Earth less of a shithole then it was when I got here on December 16, 1980.
I am one person but I am one PASSIONATE person who takes action daily to achieve goals. That being said, even I am still profoundly affected by the tragedy of the 2020 election. I aim to serve our tribe — the American People— despite the obvious corruption at the highest levels of our government and the overt coup d’état that resulted in the installation of Biden as President.
So again I ask God for miraculous solutions in the mean time. If there can be any greater good to the conspiracy against Trump and indeed the will of the American voter, let it be that an Alpha who is an even more awesome and amazing leader will fill the power vacuum left by Trump. Alternatively, he could start demonstrating that he is that unifying presence, that he has not lost the 1980 version of himself, the articulate compassionate reflective patriot who loves our country!!
If Trump was misled by those closest to him, I pray for a second chance for him to drain the swamp in 2024. AND I pray for patriotic Americans all over our country to hear and heed the call to public service, to run for office, and to help us take our country back from Antifa and the fascists infiltrating our domestic institutions.
The Trump we deserve has a great sense of humor, is kind, articulate, thoughtful and tough as nails. We love Trump and we pray for God to surround our country, and indeed the world, with legions of angels of protection, led by Archangel Michael.
Target: are you seriously forcing your employee to re-gift her GoFundME? What’s wrong with you??
In case you live in the real world and not in the de facto divide-and-conquer operation/echo chamber known as Twitter, you may have missed the absolute fiasco that occurred at a Target store in New England last week.
A guy name David Leavitt freaked out and actually called The Cops when a Target store manager wouldn’t honor a ridiculously low and obviously erroneously priced electric toothbrush. It was priced at one cent. Yes, a penny.
The police told him they’d testify that they saw the price — oh, at the store manager’s trial? Where she’s charged for … apologizing? Taking responsibility for some poor minimum wage earner who accidentally mispriced merchandise during their overnight shift? Who is this guy?
Here’s who he is — or at least his twitter bio:
Yes, he’s a classic omega male: plays magic the gathering (#MTG), but assures us he is a casual player only, publicly humiliates himself with abandon, can’t afford a toothbrush, declares this to everyone and doesn’t feel embarrassed about admitting it, pulls authority figures (police) into drama unnecessarily, feels absoLUTEly certain that people in an authority position are out to get him (i.e. store managers). These things don’t make him a bad person. They indicate that he is a sad person. (And sad people will do bad things, do and say things that hurt others, even when they are desperately trying not to.)
That’s when the amazing memesmith known as Carpe Donktum rode up on his twitter steed, and gallantly started a GoFundMe, to send Tori on a vacation because, “anyone who has to deal with this twerp [omega male David Can’t-Leavitt-Alone] definitely deserves one.”
I have started a GoFundMe to send Tori on a vacation.
If you have a moment, check Carpe’s TL and replies to his original tweet to see how the Daily Beast and other assorted negative Nelly naysayers twisted this and pretended that he was actually going to keep the money for himself, and even lied about reaching out to him for comment, as they tried to portray his good will as something selfish and sordid. But whyyyyyyy, you might ask, did Carpe call David a twerp? A significant label for someone obviously on the far side of mental illness having a very public breakdown over an incorrectly priced electric toothbrush, no? Well, because Leavitt hates Trump. Like many omegas, Leavitt suffers from black and white thinking, where there is no middle ground, where people — politicians and other authority figures, especially — are all good or all bad. And nothing in between. This inability to see reality — to see the Glass of Life as it truly is, as half filled with water and half filled with air — is a personality weakness. A gaping personality wound. But Leavitt is in good company. Many people have this problem.
And in contrast, Carpe likes President Trump. And is (I believe, I didn’t check with him) sick of people like Leavitt and other members of the mainstream media lying about Trump. Interestingly, a few Trump supporters suffer from the same black and white thinking as our Omega male, David Leavitt, but in reverse, and see Trump as all good, as a savior. The majority of Trump supporters know that President Trump, because he is human, is not perfect. But they like POTUS’ policies and policy goals. Trump is fearless and strong (this is objectively true, whether a voter approves of his actions and words or not), which is better than perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist so perfect can’t check things off the to-do list. Perfect procrastinates and has the best of intentions but never gets anything accomplished. Fearless and strong is who you call when you want to get shit done.
People who were shamed early in life by authority figures for being imperfect often feel compelled to throw public tantrums over perceived external imperfections. Their life, their very existence, has become the crib, and they are still crying out for attention, to Dad (the police, in this example) and Mom (the store manager, Target Tori) to come pick them up and comfort them over something that to you and I would be no big deal, but to them, feels like an outrageous injustice.
It’s as sad as it sounds. (If you are a religious or spiritual person as I am, you might take a moment to pray for David and ask God to send him the professional helpers who can assist him in climbing out of the crib and standing on his own feet, so that in his joyful future, he opens his mouth to release words that help others instead of hurt them. “Please God, let David be miraculously healed of all pain and suffering by the power of your love” is a quick prayer we could all send up. Please invoke the deity of your choice, if you wish.)
Now back to the actual injustice: David harassing this most likely tired and overworked Target store manager in front of her peers and all the other customers, doxing her in an even larger public square — twitter — and generally succeeding at making her life miserable. People are infuriated. The twitterverse is incensed. The outpouring of support for her in reply to David Leavitt’s nasty tweets is astounding. But while yes, it’s true that twitter is very chatty, money really talks. And soon, subjects of the Twitterdom are getting out their wallets as quickly as they can send tweets. Carpe’s GoFundMe’s original $5,000 goal was met in a day. Then donations doubled. Then quintupled. (Yes, as of this blog publication date, Tori could afford a very excellent adventure indeed with the more than $30k crowdfunded by Carpe and Company.)
So, a few days pass and Tori is tracked down and made aware of her good fortune, her reward, as it were, for her patience and good customer service. Carpe announces the good news to his followers and then turns the entire account over to Tori, once he has confirmed with Target Corporate that she is THEE Tori.
And then, to my surprise, she tweets … simply this:
In case her tweet mysteriously disappears, I have saved the image and embedded it in my post. I will also transcribe the text below.
I would like to thank all of you for your generosity. It is inspiring to see so many people united for a good cause.
If I have learned anything from this experience, it is that people are good and that these acts of kindness cannot stop with me.
I am currently working with resources to find a cause that is worthy of your generosity and something that you would ALL be proud to donate to.
Your support has changed my life.
Now, my first thought was immediately, “Tori, no, YOU are the cause everyone was proud to donate to. No one made a donation to some other organization, or wanted to. What? Why are you saying this??”
But then I read it again, slowly. And the word “resources” stuck out like a red flag from the pit of human resources hell. Ah, yes. Ever worked for corporate America and learned their version of Newspeake? HR “specialists” who say, “On the go-forward, we’ll …” and who ooze, “Thank you for sharing that with me!” in an eerily gleeful response no matter the issue and bark, “What questions can I answer!” instead of asking sincerely, “are there any questions?” And assure everyone in a meeting that, “This is just a high level view. View from a thousand feet.” Yuck. Why don’t they just say, “going forward, we’ll….” or say, “I don’t want to go on and on about boring details, this is just an overview” instead of using language that is literally condescending? Let’s not answer those questions now, let’s instead analyze the text of the message that Target Tori tweeted because there are several indicators that someone who speaks HR Newspeake wrote it, and not a normal person who would have been properly socialized to be able to work directly with customers, face to face, as Tori clearly was.
Line 1: “I would like to thank all of you for your generosity.” Fair enough. Saying thank you is always good. “I would like to …” is the HR intro. Normal people tweet, “Thank you so much for …!!” But ok. Not terrible yet. “It is inspiring to see so many people united for a good cause.” This literally isn’t a good cause. Who wrote this? This is everyday people uniting to give Tori a gift of money for having to put up with dickhole behavior. This is not a normal gofundme. Store managers have to put up with horrible customers every day all day. That’s why stores have managers. Literally (and to schedule workers’ shifts). Tori’s car didn’t break down. She’s not crowdfunding a surgery for her kid. There’s no good cause. No one’s homeless or trying to pay for college. This is pure vengeance. This is sticking it to David Leavitt. This is the tribe saying, “David, if you hadn’t been such a dick, maybe someone would have crowdfunded YOU the money to buy an electric toothbrush. But no. So instead we’re going to raise enough money for the woman you treated like shit to buy a MILLION electric toothbrushes.” (Someone, please correct my math — it’s late.) LOL, HR — “good cause.”
Line 2: “If I have learned anything from this experience, it is that people are good and that these acts of kindness cannot stop with me.” There was nothing kind about any single one of the acts of donating money. Generosity? Yes. Kindness? No. TARGET. Do you know what kindness is? LOOK AT YOUR EMPLOYEE, Tori.Look at her face in the photograph Leavitt took, as she humbly and gently tolerates a mentally ill customer’s attempts to humiliate her, in front of her peers and other customers, in your store, after a long day spent constantly on her feet. THAT is the face of kindness. People aren’t good! LOL! (As you well know: remember when you were motivated by greed to lay off half the employees at Target HQ in Minneapolis back in 2017?) Target HR, you lucked out when you hired Tori. TORI is good. Tori is kind. “People” as an aggregate are often neither. And why can’t the acts of kindness stop with her? What weirdo wrote this? It’s rude — impolite — to reject a gift. Are you seriously forcing your employee to re-gift her GoFundME? What’s wrong with you??
Target: are you seriously forcing your employee to re-gift her GoFundME? What’s wrong with you??
Line 3: “I am currently working with resources to find a cause that is worthy of your generosity and something that you would ALL be proud to donate to.”
First of all, Tori, YOU are the cause that was worthy of everyone’s generosity and not one single person who donated to you wanted their money to be “paid forward.” They wanted YOU to spend it. On YOU. Literally, Carpe specified that he wanted you to use it to go on a vacation away from Target. Is Target unwilling to give you PTO or to let you use your PTO? If that’s the case, then you need to talk to an employment lawyer. PLEASE. If their HR team is coercing you to give YOUR money away, again, please talk to a lawyer. Target doesn’t care about you. They care about THEM and their public relations. A WHOLE SHIT TON of Trump supporters cobbled together $30 grand for their beleaguered employee. They don’t want any PR “complications” (read: blowback) from that fact.
But back to the words specifically chosen for line 3: someone, some Head of Human Resources, removed the word “human” before resources because it made it seem like HR was influencing Tori’s decision as far as what Tori will (read: is ALLOWED TO) do with her money. (HER money. Not YOUR money, Target.) But the word pattern takes on a whole new level of sinister when the word “human” is removed. Who or what IS “resources”??? Who or what, indeed, is Tori being forced to “work with” in order to “find a cause”? Gross. My hope is that you the reader can feel the primal pull in your gut when you read the last line, as you imagine the fakiest fake faker of an HR person you’ve ever met pulling Tori off the floor, into a back office, and saying, “We just want to explore the space we’re in as far as gofundme’s in general on the go-forward. So-and-so wanted me to circle back and really engage your thoughts while we thoughtfully path-consider. My hope would be that we can really expand on the team vision while we goal-set and dream-weave and partner in a future that’s 100% focus-based and unity-oriented. Does that make sense? What questions can I answer?”
Yeah. No. If you were one of the many people who donated to Tori’s GoFundMe, I hope you will consider sharing this post and then reaching out to her with a kind tweet (reply to @realTargetTori) to let her know that SHE is the good cause, that SHE is worthy of receiving ALL the money and spending it on whatever SHE wants.
Here was my response to her this morning:
Hope you keep at least 90% for yourself, Tori! Unless you’re financially independent & only work at @target for fun, please consider talking to a financial planner to ensure this money grows. We aren’t young & healthy forever! Donate a little, enjoy a LOT, save the rest!
I’m no financial advisor, but that’s what I would wish for anyone who came into an unexpected small fortune. Please, Internet friends and twitter family, let’s not let Target ruin this blessing for Tori.
A picture like this is worth more than a thousand words — it’s worth a 15 minute video analysis on youtube (which you can watch by clicking here).
From left to right, we have: Alpha male, Sigma male, Sigma female, Omega male, Alpha male. (Note: I did not include the guy with the red tie that looks like he’s clutching his knee in the background.)
That is: Alpha Male Trump, Sigma NSA Bolton, Sigma CIA Directory Haspel, what looks like an assistant to DNI Coats, a young Omega guy, and Alpha Coats. The photo was originally tweeted after a temporary misunderstanding was resolved among Trump and his IC team. Here you can see they have donned their societal masks: no where does the archetypal tribal role become more prominent than in a group of people, especially a group of people who are peers, professionally. Annnnnd, especially when they are in the presence of their Alpha leader, in this case, President Trump. When we’re sitting alone in an office cubical (or even if we are unlucky enough to work in a real life privacy-free “open” office with no cubes), our tribal role will still influence how and when we complete tasks, but when we are forced to be interdependent on other members of the tribe, THAT is when the real fun starts.
Just concluded a great meeting with my Intel team in the Oval Office who told me that what they said on Tuesday at the Senate Hearing was mischaracterized by the media – and we are very much in agreement on Iran, ISIS, North Korea, etc. Their testimony was distorted press…. pic.twitter.com/Zl5aqBmpjF
Briefly, LOL, Ambassador Bolton’s mustache! The quintessential Sigma mustache. No member of the tribe is more likely to seem “like a character” than a Sigma. Ever hear someone say, “she’s such a character!” Often that person will be a Sigma.
I’ll tell you what I really want to do: a series of videos on Omega males, based on my experiences with them in Washington, DC. Omegas are the socially awkward members of the tribe: what POTUS calls the “haters & the losers.” They have a distinct aura of weakness about them …
Now omegas are the ones most likely to **actually be playing a charcter.** But in this case, with his shaggy bangs but perfectly groomed mustache, there’s the aura of the “Nutty Professor” (also known as the “absentminded professor” persona) about him.
Let’s take an even closer view of the photo here:
Sigma males and females often have a trademark about them, something they consistently do to manipulate their appearance that makes them very memorable. With Director Haspel, another Sigma, it is how she dresses monochromatically and almost always with a matching scarf (no scarf today, but shades of brown).
Trump, the Leader
Alpha male Trump is leaning forward with an all-business straight-back: his clasped hands indicate working mode, not fighting mode. He’s looking straight ahead, making eye contact with no one: again, he’s not ready to fight and he’s not attempting to assert dominance over any one at this time.
Coats, the Aggressor
But Alpha Coats is! He’s used to being top dog, the Alpha, in most group situations, and has for many years now, as part of his career. His hard-nosed, unsmiling gaze at Trump, says he IS ready to fight. He isn’t overly aggressive, but put it this way: Trump’s embodiment of all things Alpha, is triggering to this other Alpha who has to view Trump as his … (don’t choke on the words now, Director Coats!!) … his … BOSS!! Alphas don’t want to have another Alpha as their boss; they are the boss! And, once DNI Coats leaves the White House, for all practical purposes, he will once again be “the boss” in almost any government building he enters. It’s fair to say that almost no one out ranks him exceptTrump! Note Coats’ one hand on the table. He is holding up a metaphorical red neon sign that says, “I have influence in this situation. I can literally tip the balance of power here by putting my hand on the scale [or, the table, in this case].”
Haspel, the Skeptic
Why is CIA Director Haspel leaning so far forward in her chair that she looks like she’s ready to stand up and go? Because she is ready to stand up and go. She has TONS OF STUFF TO DO. At WORK. She tried to tell the President this before the picture was taken and he did his Alpha cocoon of patriotism thing, and she was like, ok, fine, one picture (then I seriously have to go, Mr President).
Bolton knows that power and authority come and go in waves and there’s no real point in resisting it; it’s way more fun to dive right into the waves and get as wet as possible! “This too shall pass … but I’ll enjoy in while it lasts” is the wise old Sigma male’s counsel. When Sigma’s are young, they will argue to the death, but as they get older and wiser, they know that fighting is fun, and super gratifying, but sometimes it’s just as awesome to realize you are in the thick of history, living it out in real time. Why not relax and take a picture?
Want to know how we can identify that the young guy next to Coats is an Omega and not a Beta? Check out the video to find out more!
I would love to hear your thoughts …
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THANK YOU!! Thank you for your time. It is the most valuable irreplaceable thing we have. Thank you so much for spending some of yours on my creative work.
This case study is 100% hypothetical and does not refer to any real life individuals.
As a reminder (and this is greatly simplifying the roles), alphas lead, betas follow, sigmas get out of the way, and omegas get in the way. Healthy happy Alphas love to guide and protect the people they love, whether the tribe is a family or a team or a flock or a herd or a pack. Healthy happy Betas love to be parents, good employees, part of or on a team, take pride in tribe-contributing accomplishments, such as healthy happy children, long marriages, financial success (and the material indicators, such as new cars, home ownership, vacations, etc.) (most people are Betas). Healthy happy Sigmas live to serve or help the tribe: they are mission oriented and want to know that their life matters (or will matter, after they die) in terms of the overall tribe’s survival (very few people are Sigmas). Happy healthy Omegas want to know that they left tangible evidence of their existence behind upon death: they are amazingly gifted authors, artists, craftspeople, inventors, musicians, directors, playwrights, screenplaywrights, and more!
Sigmas and Omegas: as different as night and day, but both are fascinating. My very first viral youtube video was on the Elusive Sigma Male (click here to watch it) and I’ve been receiving requests to make more videos about Sigmas. In contrast, the “lowly” Omega male is one that most men do not want to think they could be. This is shortsighted, of course, because Omegas, when happy, are some of the most creative people on the planet. Now, Omega males can be very socially awkward if they haven’t been trained by a strong authority figure, preferably their father. And Sigmas, because they can see right through people’s personality facade so quickly, often find themselves preferring to avoid people altogether. Now, a wonderful subscriber of my youtube channel commented:
Is the main difference between Omegas & Sigmas that the former fall into complete introversion + autonomy because of low self-esteem or to be quirky and creative and unbeholden to success or expectations of success, whereas the latter are innately autonomous and driven and unbeholden to society because they are beholden to no one but their own passionate ambitions that propel them to esteem & success? Would love that video expository exploration!
I like this simplification, and I agree with it about 85%.
The thing that separates a healthy and happy omega from a “hater and a loser” and a healthy and happy sigma from being a lone wolf is whether or not they have learned humility, or failing that, accepting the power dynamics of the tribe as they are (accepting “reality,” as it were). For example, an omega male can get caught up in Pick Up Artistry and often resent that some people have more and some people have less. They get very hung up on the injustice of life instead of realizing how lucky they are to wake up in the morning not paralyzed, not wearing a diaper, not living in a war zone, etc. They have to feel so loved by their early authority figures in order to realize that they too can matter to the tribe, that they too can contribute. Sigma males know instinctively that they have an edge on other people — and get this, dear reader — they also think that’s unfair, that that imbalance of power is strange and unfortunate. In contrast to Alphas, Sigmas feel obligated to use this advantage to help others. Sigmas are often smarter and stronger and understand how to motivate others to cooperate (and when they’re in a dark place, to manipulate others to do their bidding) better than the other members of the tribe. The Alpha of the tribe will recognize this a mile away and want the Sigma to contribute their unique gifts, for the greater good (the survival) of the tribe OR if it’s a bad Alpha, to exploit the skills of the Sigma to advance the Alpha’s personal agenda. The Sigma will do very bad things if it means expressing the ability to demonstrate their loyalty (let’s dive deeper and explore what it really is at its core: LOVE) for the tribe. And they will also do very good things for the same reason. Sigmas operate in the Gray Area. That said, there is a dark place that is not gray: you will find lone wolf Sigma terrorists and assassins-for-hire there (have you ever seen the Blacklist? Most of the criminals on that show are Sigma Males — and of course, the writers have developed the Raymond Reddington character to himself embody the quintessential Lone Wolf Sigma Male archetype. However, Sigmas usually have to feel betrayed by the tribe to go completely off grid.
Now Omegas are a different story: it’s vital that they have strong authoritative parents. The irony is that because the Omega male’s mom often feels instinctively that there is something off (weak) about her son, that she unconsciously (or consciously) displays disgust or regret in her body language and facial expressions, and this imprints him with the sense of self statement, “I am not wanted.” Then when he goes out into the world, he behaves in ways that reflect that sense of self. People — teachers, classmates, siblings, cousins, and other relatives — pick up on it, and also behave/react accordingly. I have a very special place in my heart for omegas, but even in the healthy contributing ones, there’s always an aura of vulnerability around them. They were bullied (and/or coddled) as kids. And the people who leapt in front of them on the playground when they were being bullied as kids? Sigmas. Frankly, it’s better for the tribe if the Omega male was coddled as a mama’s boy growing up; he may never be able to fall in love with a woman his own age but at least he won’t grow up to rape and murder them. Yes, most serial killers are Omega males. How is this different from a Sigma male sharpshooter who also kills a lot of people, but at the behest of the Alpha? That person is motivated by a mission. Serial killers are motivated by rage. For some reason, the Sigma feels that the people he’s killing have to die for the greater good of the tribe. Omega stalkers, rapists, murderers, etc., were born “broken” as it were. It’s fair to say that death, murder, and crime permeate our modern society, and, that you can be sure the majority of these acts generally trace back to an Omega or a Sigma culprit. But let’s be very clear here: most Sigmas and Omegas will never kill a single solitary soul in their lives.
How Sigmas Feel Power
Sigmas literally feel power. This is what it’s like for a Sigma to be in a large group, for example, mingling at a party or at a get-to-know-you event: Imagine walking through a fabric store and running your fingertips along velvet, feeling how soft it is, then along silk, feeling how smooth it is. Then along velcro and feeling how rough it is. Where Alphas have an inner weakness detector and hone in on a person’s most easily exploited flaw (or their greatest strength), Sigmas have a more nuanced way of detecting power and its many expressions, including authority and influence. They’re each different and that’s a secret kept from the majority of people. In a room of a hundred people, a Sigma will feel authority like a smooth piece of silk, power of influence like a soft velvet pillow, and they’ll feel weakness, including obsequiousness, pretension, deception, poseurs, haters and wannabes like rough sandpaper chafing their skin. What’s actually happening is the power deficit acts as a vacuum; those omegas in the room who wish they were pleasant likable betas or powerful alphas or betas who are dissatisfied with being mid-totem pole betas with some degree of influence who want to “gear up” for that next level, emanate a weird energy that is as distracting as the sound an actual vacuum would make. Everyone in the tribe emits a different signal and the Sigma walks around the room absorbing this information about them. The guilt that clings to the aura of an adulterous beta emits a signal to a Sigma. Or how about the sexual fantasies of a fellow sigma? Or the secret vengeful plots of the Alpha? Yes, and yes. Anything having to do with power, control or authority will flag the Sigma male’s radar.
How Omegas Feel Weakness
When Omega males are unhappy and unhealthy, power is all they think about it. They are absolutely positively 100% sure that everyone is a beta cuck (or just “beta” which is commonly used as a synonym for weak and easily dominated) and they, the omegas, are ALPHA (insert the sound of chest-beating here). Until they accept power dynamics within the tribe as they are, they might see the world and everyone in it as falling into Category A: people who have more than they do (more money, more sex, more power/status, more love and more luck), and Category B: the little old Omega, by themselves, so unlucky in life and love. As we know, omega wolves are essential to the pack. The Omega wolf eats last — but always eats! Why do they eat last? Because they aren’t as skilled at hunting. So it’s only fair (I actually think it’s terrible but no one asked me). Now, did they vote as a pack on this ranking? LOL, you know they didn’t. And the Alpha wolf or wolves (usually a pair bond of an alpha male and alpha female) didn’t decree it — wolves don’t have benevolent monarchs. But the omega wolf instinctively knows his value, contributes accordingly and is protected accordingly. As humans, we need strong Alpha leadership to make sure omegas see their value, realistically, and are rewarded with praise and also with tangible objects/money. Omegas can 100% contribute to the tribe and leave the world better than they found it. It’s just that those two goals are not usually on their list (until they get strong mentorship, apprenticeship, and figure out how to get healthy and happy).
Omegas want to be famous
For Omega males, it’s not enough to be respected (and preferably feared), they want to be famous! And I do mean, famous. They want to be recognized while walking down the street. (The last thing Sigmas want is to be famous. In fact, that’s how you know you’re not a Sigma: if you want to be famous!*.) If you want to see a bunch of omegas trying to be famous, go to Instagram and you will see what many refer to as “instafamous.” Tips for Omega males on Insta offering coaching or selling through an MLM business: please no pics of you buttoning a jacket … half way. No looking into the distance wearing sunglasses with your chin tilted up. No short sleeves unless you have man arms (some omega males are of slight stature, and have neither broad shoulders nor the capacity for getting “built.” It would be worth every penny to hire a personal trainer who would coach you on the protein powder and strength training routine necessary to get rid of those “girl” arms.) Please no beard!! Freshly shaven and a big happy smile will sell every ware you’re trying to hock. Everything else looks insincere and has the opposite effect of the one you want: it repels rather than attracts.
A sigma male and an omega male walk into a bar
The following is 100% hypothetical and does not refer to any real life individuals. Both of these single men are smart, funny, can laugh at themselves, are ambitious, and have moms who love them and taught them to always believe in themselves and make the world a better place. Each of them became frustrated with the amount of mis- and dis-information out there in the vast interwebs regarding news and current events in their 20’s. Each of them started a website, replete with paid journalists, to cover the topics they believed were unethically and immorally being censored by the mainstream media. The Sigma male was able to focus 100% on the task at hand, ignoring emails, social media and phone calls (but not texts from sources on the burner phones) while writing and editing. The Omega male compulsively checked social media, devastated when he didn’t get likes, shares and retweets. Each of them was brave, compassionate and passionate. Each of them knew how to gain the trust of sources and prove over and over again that they were reliable and consistent. Each of them briefly covered on their news site what many in the mainstream media labeled a conspiracy theory, but each had a source from within the intelligence community giving them verifiable information that this horrific thing was more fact than fiction. One day, the Sigma’s source reached out and said, it’s time to stop reporting on this. We’re working on it behind the scenes. Stop for now. The same day, the Omega’s source reached out and said, it’s time to stop reporting on this. We’re working on it behind the scenes. Stop for now. The Sigma said, Why, this is huge??? We need to break this. The source said, we don’t, and drawing more attention to it now could endanger you and your ability to keep your website up, running and funded. It’ll all come out in the end. Don’t worry. The Omega said, Why, this is huge??? We need to break this. The source said, we don’t, and drawing more attention to it now could endanger you and your ability to keep your website up, running and funded. It’ll all come out in the end. Don’t worry. The Sigma, being mission oriented and motivated by the greater good was pissed off but reflected that this source had never not come through before and he certainly didn’t want to risk being unable to report on all the other great stories he had coming down the pipeline from a variety of sources. The Omega, being motivated by getting even with all the people who told him he’d never be anything and equally motivated to be part of the retribution process of exposing the alleged criminals he’d been investigating, was devastated. This was literally the only story he’d been working on. He couldn’t give it up. He started to feel paranoid. Even though he’d received years of helpful leads from this IC source, he now started to wonder if the person was really who they said they were. Maybe he’d been duped all this time? So he doubled down. He livestreamed, blogged and obsessively reported only on this one topic.
Compare & Contrast: the Sigma was motivated by the desire to FIGHT corruption whereas the Omega was motivated to EXPOSE the corruption. Sigmas are warriors. They don’t care who gets credit for the winning as long the fight is won. Omegas have this icky vengeance-based tendency toward self-sabotage. They want the credit. They want to prove to everyone who ever doubted them or bullied them that ARE strong, that they ARE powerful.
Bonus Sigma & Omega case studies, again, hypothetical and not based on any real human beings, dead or alive:
Once upon a time there was a Sigma male, so smart that he was often accused of having a photographic memory. He would chuckle and say, “I don’t think so” (wink wink). As a brilliant shrew person and a lawyer, he had every opportunity to make serious bank working for a private firm and yet he chose public service because he believed he could perform substantive work for the greater good of society. As he got closer to middle age, he realized that the system was inefficient and indeed broken on more levels than he cared to count, and, if he admitted it to himself, he had known this for several — ok, many — years. (The Sigma male will stay until the last moment of making a difference, however small. Once that time expires though, he’s out.) Finally, his Alpha, the one who had been keeping him in public service, retired and our Sigma male found himself afloat in a sea of a whole new kind of gray area. He could stay in public service but it would mean a lack of mission. If he was going to give that up, he might as well go into business for himself and make boatloads of money. That was the quandary he faced, as a confident, savvy, attractive, financially secure man who had never married or had children. Remember, Sigmas always know if you have an ulterior motive, so it’s very hard for Sigma males to ever fall deeply in love; if the person who is displaying amorous intent is either under a delusion and is in love with the idea of the Sigma and does not see him for who he really is OR desires marriage to him for any reason other than love, he will end the relationship eventually and may remain single forever! Sigmas are not afraid to be alone. Compare this to Betas who prefer to be in a relationship rather than out of one, and usually will not leave one unless there’s another one ready and waiting on the back burner. Yes, Betas are the members of the tribe who are most likely to cheat!
Once upon a time there was an Omega male who, simply put, gave his coworkers the creeps. He had BO and there was a reason. On his lunch break, he would go to the gym, work out, not shower, and then put on an old windbreaker over his clothes. In other words, he did shower, he did wear deodorant, he did wear Axe body spray (unfortunately for everyone in his periphery) but only in the morning. So for the first half of his workday, he only smelled like an 8th grade boy just now learning about how to make sure he didn’t smell by buying whatever was most flashily packaged at CVS. But for the second half, there was a whole different kind of scent. He wanted to feel needed to the point of being indispensable and so he would create elaborate exel documents to “help” his coworkers. Some of them were quite amazing and time-saving! He was very smart. And he kept a journal. With him. At work. He took it every where. And documented his day, throughout the day in teeny tiny handwriting on unlined pages with no margins and almost no space between the lines. He would glance up from his writing, his face blank as he focused on one team member or another, and then stare back down at his book, scribbling diligently away. What happened? He had experienced a profound loss, the loss of a high pressure public service job where he had been helping people from the dominant position in the power dynamic. He had loved the feeling of being in control and having the upper hand in a literal life or death situation. He loved that he could hesitate for just a few second before taking action, and it gave him the most incredible feeling of being alive. His supervisors observed this and let him go. He was absolutely devastated, and cried as they escorted him out of the building. He went home to his parents (because he still lived at home in his late 20’s) and his father berated him, screaming at him for having no job and still living at home. Later his mom hugged him and told him she would always love him, and everything would be ok, gently rocking him and assuring him that he never had to move out if he didn’t want to. Once he found the new job, he wore the jacket that came from the old job (with the emblem that meant status and a sense of pride and accomplishment emblazoned on the front) every day over his wrinkled dress pants and button down shirt after he finished working out, positive that it kept other people from smelling his post-workout sweatiness.
Bottom Line: Omegas and Sigmas both do well with mentorship. A Sigma will fight and scratch and claw their way to making a difference in the world, no matter what. Even if they have to work a day job for the rest of their lives and personally bankroll the meetup for whatever world-improving cause they’re waving a flag for. That is not the case with Omegas. They want the recognition. They need it. Ideally, they would be mentored or else be placed under the auspices of an Alpha who can manage some of their expectations and impulsiveness. (Note that healthy happy Omegas, especially those in a committed long term relationship, experience feeling much more patience and a stronger desire to engage in long term planning.) A Sigma who is taking huge risks without a long term plan is either untethered from the tribe but still wants to make a difference by going “all in” OR is punishing the tribe for its betrayal by withholding their warrior gifts. Sigmas do well with a Sigma mentor but they sure do love having an Alpha boss!
*It’s unwise to categorize people’s tribal role until they turn 25 because the brain does not finish growing until age 25. Our personality does not “set” until age 25. For example, yours truly as a teenager wanted to be president when she grew up, thinking this was the way to fix the problems of the world. It became clear to me later in life that this was not a logical conclusion upon further examination. That being said, a very strong Alpha could absolutely change the world as POTUS, for better or for worse — irrevocably.
I’m a Sigma Female … here’s a post from 2015 where I detail a time I was ambushed by a human pack of betas and their Alpha at a Starbucks. Enjoy! (Also, learn more about why I read all the books on Pick Up Artistry I could in my 20’s in order to protect myself from those techniques!
I have been fascinated for some time with the power dynamics of the pack or tribe and have read with amusement since my early 20’s the slew of PUA (Pick Up Artist) books written by omega males pretending to be alpha males. Hint, wanna-be’s: alpha males don’t look for one-night stands. As in the animal kingdom, they display dominance by regularly protecting and providing for their mate — or multiple mates, concurrently, not consecutively. Omega pick-up artists don’t generate enough income to protect and provide sufficiently for themselves on a regular basis, never mind for a mate and multiple offspring. Having that much income is yet another way the alpha male displays his dominance. (Reader, if you’re wondering why I read these PUA books, it was so I could learn their m.o. and protect myself against such tactics. However, these omega males have a very distinct scent in their sweat…
This case study is 100% hypothetical and does not refer to any real life individuals.
As a reminder (and this is greatly simplifying the roles), alphas lead, betas follow, sigmas get out of the way, and omegas get in the way. Healthy happy Alphas love to guide and protect the people they love, whether the tribe is a family or a team or a flock or a herd or a pack (very few people are Alphas). Healthy happy Betas love to be parents, good employees, part of or on a team, take pride in tribe-contributing accomplishments, such as healthy happy children, long marriages, financial success (and the material indicators, such as new cars, home ownership, vacations, etc) (most people are Betas). Healthy happy Sigmas live to serve or help the tribe: they are mission oriented and want to know that their life matters (or will matter, after they die) in terms of the overall tribe’s survival (very few people are Sigmas). Happy healthy Omegas want to know that they left tangible evidence of their existence behind upon death: they are amazingly gifted authors, artists, make-up artists, journalists, craftspeople, inventors, musicians, directors, playwrights, screenplaywrights, and more!
Once upon a time, an Omega female and a Beta female were both groomed by their employers for “leadership.” Let’s discuss why this is an unfortunate mis-expenditure of resources and how such an “investment” actually backfires when applied to people who are not naturally inclined toward leadership.
These two case studies are of course not based on any real people.
And yes, groomed is a terrible disgusting word. Words have meanings. And, organizations who lure innocent beta and omega girls into leadership positions because they are easily manipulated know exactly what they’re doing. Fully aware emotionally mature manipulators who prey on these emotional teenagers in adult bodies are going into a gray area of life-path manipulation: you could literally prevent members of the next generation of the tribe from being born by steering someone away from their natural inclination to raise a family instead of seeking a career first (rather than a career and lifestyle).
Every Beta is a conformist in their own way. Omegas are usually more deeply damaged and thus more fascinating. (And everyone is damaged; you just have to dig. As my mom used to say, “If you keep digging, Sarah Louise, eventually you’re going to find what you’re looking for.”) That being said, because traits are better understood in context, let’s review leadership within the context of all four tribal roles.
Sigmas eschew leadership. A Sigma will generally reject the ranking and categorizing so prevalent in traditional human hierarchies, but will, in order to survive, “deal with it,” as it were; however, they can and do respect authority and power that has been earned through achievement or expresses itself as a talent that has been developed over time (through hard work). Sigmas overwhelmingly prefer not to be controlled — in other words, they seek autonomy. But because they have no inclination to control others, they avoid leadership positions; they prefer to work independently or directly for the alpha. While they strongly dislike being on a team, they will certainly tolerate it if a team is what is required to achieve a goal or complete a mission that benefits the greater good of the tribe. Sigmas work better in a partnership where they have veto power and are treated with respect by their partner. Caveat: a Sigma who feels that they have been betrayed by the tribe will walk to the end of the earth to avenge an injustice and punish the tribe for its collective weakness. Usually, they are the classic lone wolf archetype who can and will lead, begrudgingly, if and only if there LITERALLY IS NO ONE ELSE TO DO IT.
Alphas are the natural leader in any group. They want to be admired and respected but they can’t control whether you’re too daft to admire and respect them, so they’ll also accept feared and treated with respect; think Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, both classic alpha’s alphas. They’re strong — and scary when necessary. Some organizational entities simply do not offer enough public recognition opportunity to fulfill an alpha’s drive for elevated status in society so alphas may leave to find a new vessel for the notoriety they crave. So what happens in an organization who by its very nature simply doesn’t offer the type of leadership an alpha wants to commit herself to? They have to “coach” betas into being leaders.
Betas are followers. If you give them a command to lead, they’ll say, “yes, ma’am!” You’ve heard of topping from the bottom? (oh you haven’t … never mind) Well, this is bottoming from the top. Betas in a leadership position: it’s hilarious. But they’re so good at following orders that eventually, even THEY will feel that they are in command. Betas are great middle managers (and great worker bees too of course). My favorite male boss was a beta male. He was GREAT. As in Tony the Tiger, grrrrreat. He would always say, you’re doing great. And then LEAVE. And NOT micromanage. Hi. Thanks for signing off on my time sheet so payroll could direct deposit my money. Bye. Happy Friday to you too. I saw him twice a week if that. So awesome. He always told me what I was doing well and always made the omega female assistant manager give the “coaching” (for some reason I always ignored the length of my customer service calls in favor of providing CUSTOMER SERVICE — he would genuinely tell me my calls were great and she would condescendingly tell me they were too long. The point is, he knew exactly where he stood in our corporate tribe. He had a boss, and he had subordinates. He wasn’t gratified by having authority over a few teams of people. You know why? Because no [un-]well meaning Leadership Team Mentor inflated his sense of self, mind controlled him with very specific triggering words, honed in on his deeply repressed adolescent sense of competition, and encouraged him to “think like a leader.” The very concept of following a command in order to lead. What?!
Omegas are not leaders. In fact, they are often on the periphery of the tribe, either because they are so neurodiverse that their proclivity for solitude (what the rest of the tribe calls isolation) causes them to be so socially awkward that they either rarely go out into social situations, or they do, but learn to avoid groups of people. (Or some might say that their lack of social grace which in turn makes them feel alone in a crowd is what causes them to self-sequester.)
Let me say right now, I have a very special place in my heart for omegas. I love omegas. They can be oracles of wisdom, funny, sweet, kind … but even in the healthy contributing ones, there’s always an aura of vulnerability around them. They were bullied (and/or coddled) as kids. (And the people who leapt in front of them on the playground when they were being bullied as kids? Sigmas.) Now, we’re all vulnerable and mortal; but this is different. If you are a Sigma or an Alpha, you will know you’re in the presence of an omega if all of a sudden, you feel very protective. Sigma men often marry omega women for this reason (that is to say, Sigma men who do marry — most don’t). Sigma females will often have that one omega male friend who has a not-so-secret-crush on her. This is good and as it should be. The tribe is safer and better off when these alliances are made. It’s primal and we can applaud our natural tendencies to protect others and to seek protection from those stronger than ourselves.
Omegas can fit into the tribe; but as I’ve said in past blog posts, it’s almost as if they are walking around with dead batteries inside their internal danger detector. Omega women might have a stalker (or more than one — and THEY ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR BEING STALKED; the alphas who do not protect the weak members of the tribe from stalkers bear the responsibility as well as the stalkers themselves for taking the stalking action) or omega men might become stalkers, or other types of criminals. It would be simple to say, “they don’t listen to their gut,” the gut instinct that would tell them don’t get drawn in to that bad crowd/gang/criminal cabal or don’t go out with that guy — can’t you feel that he’s nothing but bad news? But the truth is, their gut isn’t giving them feedback the way it does for alphas, betas and sigmas. This is why the family unit, upheld and honored as a “mini-tribe” so to speak, or a sub-tribe, is so so important. Strong Alpha-style leadership — even from Beta or Omega parents — goes a long long way toward preventing a weak omega child or teen or even 20-something from getting lost and further wounded within the larger tribe. For example, let’s say an overly romantic teen who writes poetry all day has parents who view it as a phase but unfortunately it keeps going (and going and going) till she’s ready to major in Poetic Studies of Romance and Passion with a minor in Romance Derived Emotional Agony in Literature & Life through the Millennia at her women’s college in upstate [insert blue state of your choice here]. Strong parents who proved themselves to be reliable dependable sincere honest individuals who led by example will repeatedly, confidently and warmly remind her that writing poetry is a wonderful skill, and one that she should enjoy all her life, but life is for living, and she should find a real human being to fall in love with so she can experience that emotional agony FIRST HAND, and then parlay the exploration of the depths of the pain/pleasure continuum into a film or television screenplay writing career that pays well. AND, she can still write poetry on the side, right? Right! (And mom gets her grandkids and dad gets a good ROI on the $150k he just poured into the overpriced liberal arts degree.) Because the parents are strong, perceived as a unit, and no hypocrisy is mucking up the advice, the omega child happily agrees! She changes her major to English then moves to LA and enters a screenplay writing graduate course and enjoys a happy successful career inducing a range of emotions across the pain/pleasure continuum in viewers across the country every time they turn on their TV! See, it’s a win-win for everyone. When the parents are not strong (or absent or emotionally absent), this example omega woman often ends up in a bad relationship with another omega, one who is abusive and unkind, whereas in our happy version of reality, she marries another omega, a fellow successful gainfully employed writer, who also writes poetry — on the side — dedicated to none other than our beautiful omega soul who is his beloved. And did I mention they end up having healthy happy well-adjusted kids themselves? (All the alphas reading this care about is the kids — but did they have kids though, Sarah? Yes, yes, tons of kids! Get health care costs down and bust the higher education racket and they’ll have even more kids, my Alphas!)
So when omegas go down a dark path, they become what society rather brutally labels “losers.” They thrive when they’re self-employed WINNERS; for a male example, think Stephen King or that guy who runs his own crafts booth at the Renaissance Faire and makes a hundred grand over the summer and doesn’t have to work the rest of the year. He has the ability to focus in solitude for hours without going crazy; introversion to the extreme is often present in successful omegas.
Yes, almost everyone at RenFest is an omega. But seriously, all those incredibly talented metal and leather-workers, craftspeople, potters, comedians, writers — they’re all very gifted and successful omegas. But what they are not is leaders. Let me put the text in italics and boldface for the people in the back. Omegas are not leaders. They may be extremely intelligent and/or neurodiverse. This makes them awesome researchers and professors. They don’t lead. They don’t even deliver orders from a commanding position in the power dynamic well — these are the people who came up with the idea of being friends with their kids! (If this is you and you are uncomfortable with the imbalance of power and control in the power dynamic with your offspring, it may help you to do the Sigma thing and think of yourself as the teacher and the kids as your apprentices; that way you are helping, leading, educating versus ordering, commanding, controlling. From this level, you can re-frame yourself as Guardian instead of Parent if you have some past negative connotation with authority and abuse of power.) And there’s another icky side of some omegas (not even most or the majority) where their power and control wires crossed (so to speak) and so they seek to assert dominance over other people; they are the type that “never makes it above middle management” that Patrick Jane refers to in the show “The Mentalist.” There’s just something off about them; what is it? Sadism. Lots of people’s wires crossed in early life, so to speak; it still didn’t manifest as gratification over other people being dependent on them for a job or food or shelter or care or money in a way that allows them to express their desire to control how much pain those people are in.
And this bring us to our garden variety Omega. She may present as a compliant well-adjusted Beta: not particularly outspoken (alpha or sigma) and not particularly wounded (after all, everyone has pain in their past). Omegas are drawn to people and organizations that represent power and authority because they know (and can feel) instinctively, that power and authority are what they lack. While betas choose to conform on a daily basis in order to avoid the threat of punishment for falling out of line, omegas will sometimes seek the direct protection of law enforcement by specifically seeking to join that “tribe.” Male and female omegas often seek jobs as police, EMT’s, other first responders, such as 911 dispatchers, and other positions in law enforcement. Omega women who are high-functioning will show you an intact childhood home, but if you dig, you will likely find an emotional incest relationship with one or both parents. Simply put, this person is too close to one parent for their own good. (No one should be over the age of 14 and still calling their mom “mommy;” often the offending parent has been sublimating their love for the lost spouse through displays of affection for the child, now an adult, including expensive gifts of jewelry and other purchases normally given and received by romantic partners, for years.)
So, once upon a time, an omega female who worked for a large company and was very high functioning (you would have no idea she was an omega till you found out she had power/control/dominance issues, a stalker, and had a degree of personality weakness that made her susceptible to the power of suggestion, such as, “you are a natural leader”) was chosen by her superiors for leadership training. She really had no desire to be in an authority position. She much preferred controlling whether or not someone was hired or fired, cognizant of how pleasurable it was to tell people they were not chosen for a position (and completely unaware that most people feel horrible doing that task). She enjoyed deception for the sake of deception, not because it was necessary to get information, but because it was gratifying to feel that she knew what was really going on when the other person didn’t. No harm, no foul. She wasn’t hurting anyone … really. Maybe in the end it was a little gray. But not immoral. Especially if her superiors asked her to do it. She certainly couldn’t say no. Well, not really. Power, authority — it was its own designer drug. Power andauthority. The combination was addictive. But now her bosses wanted her to seek a leadership role. “We need someone like you,” and the word need really triggered her. She had never been needed. Needing others was the basis of her most familiar power dynamic, the one she had grown up in. And she had severe anxiety when she thought about inevitably losing that dominant authority figure she felt she “needed” some day. She also had severe anxiety when she thought about having children and when she thought about not having children. Completely disconnected from her biological clock, she was in denial of her waning fertility but instead of facing the fear of making a wrong decision, she let authority figures at work steer her toward a path that kept her in constant state of focusing on the present moment. No future. No past.
The Problem: there’s no way that these authority figures don’t know that our omega female really does want to marry and have kids. No way. They know. How could they prey on a sweet thoughtful conscientious omega female who would be a wonderful mom but whose time to marry [a man who also wants to have children] and get pregnant is ticking away? She will punish her bosses with poor performance and/or frequent absences, etc., once she realizes that she’s been used.
In Their Haste: they taught her to “be assertive”! But by assertive, they really meant “be aggressive” and unfortunately they framed it in a male vs female competition paradigm. “Men will apply for jobs they don’t even qualify for and ask for raises when they haven’t even earned one — be like men!” they rambled over bitter scalding hot coffee in the 3 star hotel’s conference room OR as overly moist (to the point of actually damp) mini-muffins were passed around the freezing cold hyper air conditioned basement meeting room at the corporate headquarters.
Bad Advice: these “coaches” and “mentors” had our poor omega female so confused about which way is up that when she interacted with me, she began to feel competitive. Omegas rarely feel competitive. Bad leadership coaches however can push the “be assertive, go for it!” programming so hard though that the suggestible omega will forget that she’s not even in a competition and unintentionally behave in a way that indicates a feeling of being threatened. By the same token, the art of deception would never even be attempted by a little sweet baby omega of her own accord. (And certainly shouldn’t ever be attempted on an adult sigma female for practice, lol.) But bad leadership training gave her a false sense of confidence and an inflated sense of skill, so when her attempt to prolong a meeting that was being observed outdoors in front of an establishment backfired, she couldn’t imagine how she could have given herself away.
Bottom line: Omegas aren’t leaders. Period. Full stop. Plus, it’s unethical to steer a person away from parenthood when they would raise healthy happy kids who contribute to the tribe. And, really? Interactive manipulation and deception by an Omega?
Moving on to the Beta female:
Once upon a time, a Beta female who worked for a large company was chosen by her superiors for leadership training. She had always had a desire to be in an authority position. She loved having the upper hand in a power dynamic. She put up with the ridiculous “be open to feedback! Nay, don’t just be receptive, seek it out!” mentoring propaganda endured during the freezing cold windowless basement leadership seminars because she knew that one day when she was in a leadership role, she’d get to dish criticism out just as hard as she had received it. And she vividly imagined that day, how she would invite her subordinates into her office — leave the door open of course, so everyone can hear — and then with a SUPER sincere smile on her face, deliver “feedback,” each word that came out of her mouth a freshly sharpened knife aimed directly at the center of the person’s self-image. Yep. All’s fair in love and war … and annual reviews. Moreover, she enjoyed deception for the sake of deception, not only because it was an excellent way to get information, but also because it was super SUPER gratifying to feel that she knew what was really going on when the other person didn’t. No harm, no foul. She wasn’t hurting anyone … really. Maybe in the end it was a little gray. But not immoral. Especially if her superiors asked her to do it. She couldn’t say no. Or at least she feigned initial reluctance … wink wink. But now her bosses wanted her to seek a leadership role. “We need someone like you,” and the word need really triggered her. She had always been smart but not genius level. She certainly didn’t see herself as indispensable. This was a once in a career chance and she HAD to take it. Even though in the back and front of her mind, she thought constantly about getting married and having kids. She had never been needed. (A baby would need her! It was like a thought she couldn’t stop having!) Independence was the basis of her most familiar power dynamic, the family dynamic she had grown up fighting against, as she battled for rank and praise as a young beta. She had had to prove that she didn’t need other people. Fast forward a couple decades and she was now an adult harassed daily by her own ticking biological clock. She found herself doing an agonizing two-step as she danced back and forth between denial of her waning fertility and embrace of this “opportunity” at work. Being a classic Beta who naturally defers to the strongest energy in the room or the company or the tribe, she let her workplace mentor — whose confidence made her feel confident (but only when they were together! When they were apart, the dread came back!) — steer her toward a path that kept her in a constant state of focusing on the present moment. No future. No past. She couldn’t figure out why all the methods she was taught to use to control — er, lead — others at work had no effect on her live-in boyfriend. Why didn’t he want to marry her? She had invested too much time in him to leave now — start over, now? When the clock was ticking? Don’t think about it. Try not to think about it.
The Problem: there’s no way that these authority figures don’t know that our Beta female really does want to marry and have kids. No way. They know. How could they prey on this funny, smart, outgoing, sociable beta female who would be a wonderful mom but whose time to marry and get pregnant is ticking away? (By this, I am referring to the period of time where she will have the luxury of picking from a pool of men who BOTH a) want to get married and b) have children. The pool of men who only want to get married is very VERY different. Like swimming in a pool versus swimming in a Great Lake.) Why aren’t they helping her reach her personal AND professional goals? She will resent the company and LEAVE THEM as punishment, whether she intends it consciously or unconsciously, once she realizes that that was her moment, when she was still young and fertile enough to start over with someone else. And she’ll be PISSED that the leadership training was presented to her as a now or never path that HAD to take precedence to everything else (including the very decisive move she would have had to make in her personal life — not that she couldn’t still do it. She can! And should! Today!!).
In Their Haste: they taught her to “be assertive!” But by assertive they really meant “be aggressive” and she knew it. She had no problem being aggressive; in fact, that was all she’d been waiting for: for the leader of the tribe (or the next best thing, her direct supervisor) to give her permission to. She’d been waiting her whole life for that permission statement. It had always been inside her, this relentless drive to prove that she was better than other people. Deep down she knew she actually wasn’t. And sometimes she wondered if the leaders saw that. (In reality, she was more skilled than many of her peers but not most. She was very good. Better than good. Not great. Not outstanding. Absolutely a contributing member of the tribe who should be rewarded for hard work and accomplishments. Plus, what a fabulous can-do attitude.)
Bad Advice: these “coaches” and “mentors” had our Beta female’s sense of confidence and skill so inflated that when she interacted with me, she began to feel a profound cognitive dissonance in the presence of someone who made no attempt to prove confidence or skill. Betas are naturally competitive with everyone and there is almost nothing they won’t do to get rank and praise from strong authority figures (people on the “leadership team”). Betas are mean (sometimes very mean) girls. It’s a common misconception that Alphas are the mean girls in 8th grade. No — they just give the orders. Betas carry out the actually mean acts. Bad leadership coaches push the “be assertive, go for it!” programming so hard that a Beta will forget that she’s not even in a competition and unintentionally behave in a way that indicates a feeling of being threatened.
Bottom line: Now here is a person who can learn deception and manipulation, but over confidence will be the giveaway. For example, one Beta female was assigned to take a photo of someone with her phone. Now there is a way to do this, quickly and seamlessly and without detection, and it is to pretend to be taking a selfie but really the camera is turned around and taking a picture of what is in front of you, not of you. However, this emotional tenth grader (some girls get emotionally stunted at the age at which they lost their virginity; she was one of them) just literally whipped out her iphone, took a picture of the person … lol … from 14 inches away across the table at a booth in a restaurant. (It was not even a pretend “I’m gonna post this pic of my dish on instagram” moment — no food was on the table!! It could only have been more obvious if she had said, “Say Cheese.”)
Another problem that will always eventually present itself with Betas in a leadership role is that they will have impostor syndrome. Because they are impostors in a leadership role. They know it. They can feel it. So can everyone else. BUT Betas who are healthy and happy at HOME (i.e. happily married and have kids who make them feel needed, not subordinates who will eventually make them feel “burnt out” if they are too needy and superiors who will make them feel pressured if they are too demanding) are the BEST middle managers. Like my Beta male boss who (almost) never walked by me in the hall without saying something positive about my performance personally or something complimentary about how well the team was doing collectively, this female Beta can be a great manager of members of a team. Happy Betas as leaders feel like your favorite aunt, your god-father, your big sister, your big brother. But unless they’ve experienced this healthy protective nurturing as members of their own sub-tribe (family) from members of their own sub-tribe (family), they can’t fake it.
The other element of forcing a Beta into a leadership role that will unavoidably come into play is the inability of the Beta to sincerely apologize if she perceives it as a redistribution of power or rank; they have no problem saying sorry to friends and family to quell a disagreement (or at least no more reluctance than any of us — after all, who likes to be wrong? But humility can be learned by any of the roles and none of them is more likely than the others to have learned it). In this example, though, we’re referring to the inability to say the words, “I’m sorry” to someone our Beta female perceives as competition. Betas have a wonderfully acute sense of power: they internally and intuitively measure who has the most power in a group. They perceive the total amount of power anywhere and everywhere as finite. Admitting to having made a mistake is the same as admitting weakness, i.e., admitting a lack of power. So if they admit that they are wrong, they perceive themselves to be transferring power from their power savings account to the power account of the person they’ve apologized to. That directly conflicts with their survival instinct’s compulsion to hoard power, and save it for a rainy day. After all, power isn’t like money that you can just hand out for a charitable cause; it’s extremely hard to get, extremely hard to keep (especially because it could be usurped by an Alpha or Sigma at any time), and thus very important not to give away, for Betas. In one interaction I had with this Beta female, she asked me for my address to send me a holiday card from out of town; then when we touched base a month and a half later, I texted her that I never did get her card: “did you get the one I sent you?” I asked. “When yours never came, I figured it got lost in the mail.” She replied that she did get mine and thanked me. Now I had given her the out — blame it on the US Postal Service. The easiest thing to do would have been to lie, and reply to me, “you didn’t get it? That is weird. That darn post office!” And we could have laughed it off as a symptom of eventual empire collapse, a bureaucracy so metastatic that Christmas cards disappear into the ether like so much dust. But she couldn’t. She literallycouldn’t: her survival instinct compelled her to ignore a text with any information that could cause her to feel down-ranked.
It’s imperativethat Betas feel good at home before they’re given authority over or responsibility for others. It could literally become a matter of life and death.
Sigma Sarah’s Suggestions:
An existing mentor program could be slightly adjusted to include some straight talk about work/home balance. And both the Omega and Beta would need a mentor who has achieved this, to teach by example, and to ask each of them, quite frankly, “let’s you say you meet your soulmate tomorrow. It’s a minimum of 2 years from today before you give you birth if you want to be married to that child’s father. How old will you be in two years?” If retention of employees is the goal, then it’s imperative that companies make work/home balance a priority. It can be hard (or potentially risky) to say these things to people’s faces in our overly PC culture so perhaps organizations could add a 15 minute talk to the end of the over the top leadership seminars in a way that addresses everyone in general and targets no one in particular. Covering the cost of matchmaking services, such as eHarmony and match . com could also be offered as an additional benefit. Working withthe survival instinct’s profound compulsion to procreate is a winning strategy: the happier the members of the tribe, the more productive they are, the longer they’ll stick around, and the more they’ll contribute. We need women in the workforce. But the survival instinct’s compulsion to procreate is a cruel master: it just needs to be handled like any other challenge.
Alphas should lead! Betas make great middle managers when their work/home life is balanced. Omegas are not leaders. Sigmas can lead but please don’t make them. Hooray! World peace! Nay, world joy!!
All alphas seek a leadership position within the tribe, whether the tribe is a gang, a corporation, a fraternity or an empire. They excel at seeing the best solution to a problem, and knowing exactly who should take action to solve it. They feel good when they are protecting and providing for their tribe.
All alphas are driven to succeed, and to seek respect and wealth. Alpha’s alphas (in contrast to beta’s alphas and sigma’s alphas) are also driven to be feared and to seek fame (to leave their name behind them along with their legacy). Put simply, they are compelled to get rich, successful and respected, and then feared and famous.
So what makes an alpha male a super alpha male? When they not only want success and prosperity for their tribe, but for all tribes. This is not altruistic: the super alpha knows that by working to achieve prosperity and peace for all tribes, that they are more easily able to protect their own because they then avoid having to spend resources on conflict with those tribes. In essence, peaceful neighboring tribes mean you don’t have to send your warriors out to fight them. You save money and lives (resources and members of the tribe). The more lives, the better the tribe is able to withstand and bounce back from periods of famine, disease and war.
Time will tell and history will be the most objective judge, but it appears that President Trump’s commitment to (and near obsession with) protecting and providing for Americans while maintaining peace or preventing conflict (or wrapping up war) with other countries, while strongly promoting the well being of his own tribe (country) above others (other countries) is consistent with the unique focus and strengths of a super alpha male. This type of personality is unique. The bottom line is that most people — even alphas who see the world for what it is and enjoy controlling resources so that they can change it — just wouldn’t care.
Trump Bonus Video 1: the Alpha Male Smile
Trump Bonus Video 2: the Alpha Male Handshake
Trump Bonus Video 3: Alpha Male in Warrior Mode
Trump Bonus Video 4: A Tale of Two Book Covers
Trump Bonus Video 5: Bloopers – “Putting the Try in Country, now put the Succeed in Country”